I've taken a small moment out of my incredibly busy life to type up this note (in which I won't be tagging anyone) and spread the word. You're welcome.
It seems that every uninteresting, liberal, conservative, religious, well-intentioned, hateful, and/or homosexual dumb-ass in the world who has access to the internet and a web-cam is spouting their worthless/useless/ stupid/obvious/retarded/gay opinions on literally EVERY subject imaginable. What the fuck gives them the right to sass off to me, the world's finest soldier? (Disregard the fact that I work for the Navy.)
Answer: NOTHING
Via the abomination that is Youtube, every ass-hole with a camera and access to a computer with internet capabilities (which is probably all payed for by their idiot parents (keep a better eye on your kids, dick-heads)) has launched a coordinated campaign of horse-shit aimed at raising my blood-pressure and incurring my unquenchable blood-lust.
In response to this completely unprecedented attack on my arteries, I will be responding in kind with THE GREATEST WEB-CAST IN THE HISTORY OF THE INTERNET. It seems the only qualifications for posting these things are that you A) need to be an ass-hole, and B) you need a web-cam of some kind. I'm an ass-hole. I have a web-cam in my Macbook. Therefore, I have the right. I might even do more than one of these things. Shit, this could become a regular thing. Hell, I don't fucking know.
What I DO know is that I've put off this fight for far too long. And now, with the horse-shit mounting, I must retaliate with a disproportionately awesome onslaught of ME. I only hope that the universe has enough room left to sustain this incredible release of energy. The theoretical results make the big-bang look like one of those itty-bitty fire-crackers you get when you're seven.
So, at the risk of destroying the very fabric of reality, I'm going to get back at those pompous, condescending ass-holes who've been torturing my blood-pressure and making the internet boring and shitty. In my humble opinion, it's a risk worth taking.
© 2009 by SGT Pepper